How to Navigate a Contested Divorce: Insights from a Veteran Lawyer

September 9, 2025

Let’s not sugarcoat it—contested divorce is hard. It’s emotional, it’s time-consuming, and it can bring out sides of people you never expected. But here’s the truth: just because it’s difficult doesn’t mean you have to feel lost.


At Mary E. Papcke, Attorney at Law, we’ve helped people from Parma, Middleburg Heights, Strongsville, and North Royalton face contested divorces with clarity, strength, and strategy. No one wants a messy breakup—but if you’re already in one, the best thing you can do is walk through it smart, steady, and supported.


Here’s what you need to know to get through it.

What Is a Contested Divorce?

A contested divorce happens when you and your spouse don’t agree on the terms of your separation. That might mean fighting over:


  • Child custody or parenting time
  • Division of assets and debts
  • Spousal support (alimony)
  • Who stays in the home or how property is split

If even one of these issues is in dispute, you’ve got a contested case on your hands.

Step 1: Get Clear on What You Want—and Why

Before we get into the legal strategy, take a moment to figure out what actually matters to you. Are you fighting over the house because you want to live in it—or because you don’t want your spouse to? Are you concerned about your kids’ stability—or just reacting to fear?


We help clients sort through the emotional fog and focus on their priorities. That way, we don’t waste time or money chasing things that don’t really matter in the long run.

Step 2: Be Honest (Even When It’s Uncomfortable)

This is big. In a contested divorce, everything’s on the table—financial records, parenting history, communication, even things like texts and social media. If there’s something you’re worried about—debt you hid, something you said in anger, an asset you forgot to disclose—tell your attorney now.


I’d rather prepare for the worse than be blindsided in court. That preparation is what makes a difference when the pressure’s on.

Step 3: Don’t Try to “Win”—Try to Protect What Counts

Contested doesn’t have to mean cutthroat. Sometimes clients come in ready to go to war, but once we dig in, they realize what they really want is fairness, peace, and a way to move on.


We work toward settlement where we can—but we’re also ready to go to trial if that’s what it takes to protect your rights. That’s not posturing—it’s balance. Knowing when to fight and when to let go.


I represented a mom from Middleburg Heights who was terrified she’d lose time with her kids. Her ex wanted full custody. We built a strong case, brought in the right documentation, and showed up prepared. In the end, she got the shared parenting plan she deserved.

Step 4: Get Organized and Stay Informed

A contested divorce involves a lot of paperwork: financial disclosures, court filings, timelines, and deadlines. It can feel overwhelming, but we break it down piece by piece.


You’ll know what’s happening and what to expect next—because the unknown is half the stress. We keep you informed, involved, and grounded throughout the process.

Step 5: Protect Your Peace

This part’s personal, but important: take care of yourself. This process is stressful. There will be days when you’re angry, hurt, and just plain tired. That’s normal.


Find people who support you. Consider counseling or therapy. Limit social media. Keep things civil for the kids if they’re involved. And remember—you’re building a future, not just ending a marriage.

We’re in This with You

Contested divorces aren’t fun. But they’re manageable—with the right help. At Mary E. Papcke, Attorney at Law, we’ve seen it all. We know what works in local courts, how to keep your case moving, and how to protect what matters most to you.


If you’re in the middle of a contested divorce—or worried one might be coming—visit www.BankruptcyAndDivorceLaw.com or call (440) 743-7000 to schedule a consultation.


We proudly serve Parma, Middleburg Heights, Strongsville, North Royalton, and surrounding communities.


This isn’t easy—but you’re not alone. Let’s take the next step together.

Woman lawyer smiles, takes notes, and works at desk with laptop, gavel, and scales of justice.

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